CENTER, ND - THE HAZEL MINER STORY

Over 100 years ago, an early spring blizzard hit North Dakota, leaving more than 30 dead in it’s wake, and one sad and tender story about a 15 year old schoolgirl named Hazel Miner. A story that was to be celebrated in words and song for decades to come.

They didn’t have early warning radar in 1920, but word got out that a storm was coming and so the school let the children leave early for home. These were the days of horse and buggy so 15 year old Hazel loaded her two younger sibling, 10-year-old brother Emmet and 8-year-old sister Myrdith, into the buggy and headed for home.

Most of you reading this can attest to just how quickly these spring blizzards can move in. The trio was only about half way home when the visibility was suddenly zero and the horse wandered off the road and they lost their way. At some point, as they roamed aimlessly through the open prairie, the buggy tipped over as it caught the edge of a coulee and spilled Hazel and the children into the cold wet snow. Attempts to right the buggy were in vain and Hazel knew that the safest thing to do was stay where they were and wait for help. It was to be a very long wait.

Panic stricken parents and neighbors formed a search party, but as night fell, with the storm still raging, they had to abandon their search until daylight. Back at the buggy, Hazel huddled with the children as best she could to protect them against the storm, singing songs and telling stories, but the cold and the snow crept in and Hazel was forced to open her coat to spread it out over the children. As the night wore on, the songs grew quieter and the stories less frequent. Sometime, in the middle of a long night, all was quiet.

Early the next morning, the search party set out again. At some point a shout arose from the group and someone pointed to the overturned buggy, half covered by snow. As they arrived at the scene, their worst fears were realized when they saw Hazel’s frozen and lifeless body, half buried in the snow and ice, her open coat still spread over the children like a mother bird’s wings over her young ones. Suddenly, the sad silence was interrupted by the muffled sounds of a small voice. They pulled Hazel’s body away and, much to everyone’s surprise, Emmet and Myrdith were still very much alive!

Efforts to save Hazel proved futile, but the children recovered and went on to tell the story of their loving sister and her selfless act for years to come.

STRONG, MAINE - THE TOOTHPICK CAPITAL OF THE WORLD

Rarely, in the annals of shameless civic self-promotion, have I seen a more glaring example of an opportunity squandered. Strong, a small town in Maine, used to be the “Toothpick Capital of the World,” because, at one time, Strong Wood Products was producing about 20 million toothpicks a day.

And yet they don’t have an annual toothpick festival.

If this was my town, the first thing you would see upon entering the city would be the world’s largest toothpick, hundreds of feet tall, towering over the surrounding landscape, proclaiming to the world that you have entered toothpick country. And just down the street would be the world’s only toothpick museum, a celebration of the rich and proud heritage of the toothpick, a place where you could learn things about toothpicks that you never cared to know. You probably didn’t know that Agathocles, a tyrant of Syracuse, died in 289 B.C. when using his toothpick - an enemy is said to have soaked it in poison without him knowing. And did you know that toothpicks have been around even longer than our own species, that archaeological evidence shows Neanderthals used toothpicks? Well you know now. But, to top it all off, the big juicy cherry on top of this toothpick sundae, would be the annual International Toothpick Festival with throngs of people churning past hundreds of stalls offering a mind-numbing array of toothpick arts and crafts. And there would be a toothpick spitting contest, followed by the toothpick balancing contest, where the record is forever stuck at one, but people keep trying. And Sunday evening, to end the festivities, some local girl, in her toothpick gown, would weep as a toothpick tiara is gently lowered onto her head, and she is crowned this year’s Toothpick Queen.

THOMASVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA - THE WORLD'S LARGEST CHAIR?

The world’s largest chair in Thomasville, North Carolina is not the world’s largest chair and hasn't been for quite some time. But ask almost anyone in Thomasville and they will assure you that it is, indeed, the world’s largest chair. Show them a photograph of the actual world’s largest chair with a tape measure next to it and they will suggest that the tape measure is defective. Or they’ll play some semantics game centered around the exact meaning of the word chair. If all these rationalizations come up short, it's probably a conspiracy whereby the evil folks of Gardner, Massachusetts have almost certainly bribed some official from Guinness World Book of Records or whatever government body or agency is responsible for keeping track of such things.

All of this brings to mind a very distinct phenomenon I've noticed while searching for small town claims to fame. When a town’s claim to fame is threatened, most citizens will cling to it until the bitter end, an overwhelming abundance of proof to the contrary be damned.

Many small towns have a claim to fame which involves a UFO or two. Once a UFO story gets a foothold in a community, look out. The perpetrators of the hoax can come forward and share all of the intricate and credible details of their fraud, but it doesn’t matter.

A runestone was “found” in Kensington, Minnesota some decades ago. This large stone with a supposedly ancient Scandinavian inscription, if genuine, would prove that the Swedes visited the area that is now Minnesota long before Christopher Columbus reached the east coast. A parade of experts has come forth of over the years and presented a wealth of evidence that proves it is fake. A number of experts, for example, have proven that many of the words that are inscribed on the stone weren’t even used in that particular form until centuries later. Nevertheless, to this day, much of the community will argue that the stone is authentic.

STRASBURG, NORTH DAKOTA - LAWRENCE WELK BIRTHPLACE

Although he is celebrated as one of North Dakota’s favorite sons, I have it from a reliable source that he hardly once looked back in his rear view mirror after he left the farm for the big city. Even though the neighbors fixed up the farmstead and set it up as a museum, he refused to go back for its dedication and even went so far as to donate money to the city of Strasburg with the stipulation that none of it went to the museum.

I also have it from a reliable sources that Lawrence was faking it when he would say, “wunnerful, wunnerful.” He was perfectly capable of saying, “wonderful, wonderful” with perfect elocution. He was a wily businessman and he learned early on to give the people what they wanted. And if they wanted him to sound like he just got off the boat, then that’s just what he was going to give them.

Apparently his family values first attitude wasn’t an act. He fired one of the shows favorite champagne girls, Alice Lon, at one point because she was “showing too much leg” and his was a wholesome family show.

Rugby, ND - The Geographical Center of North America?

Some claims to fame require some effort, such as a state championships in basketball or building the world’s largest buffalo or the largest quilt. Other claims to fame are just dumb luck. Such is the case with Rugby, North Dakota, the geographic center of North America. Rugby just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

Or was it?

There are those who say that, in spite of the big stone obelisk and all the t-shirts and post cards, this particular king has no clothes, that the actual geographic center of North America is actually in Balta or Orrin, North Dakota. Or out in the middle of nowhere in the middle of a slough. Depending on how you define North America, the center of the continent may actually even be in South Dakota. Pierre, South Dakota once made the claim in the 80′s and Rugby quickly threatened them with a law suit.

In Rugby’s defense, the real experts say that pinpointing the actual center is impossible due to a number of factors, and Rugby is as good a guess as any. Let’s just keep the big pile of rocks in Rugby for now and congratulate the community on being at least somewhere “near” the center of North America.

Naches, WA - Ted St. Martin – World’s Record for Consecutive Free Throws

In my fifty plus years I have seen some amazing athletic accomplishments such as  Jordan in the NBA, amazing catches in football, and astonishing feats in track and field, but I have to say, that the one sports record that I find nothing short of miraculous is Ted St. Martin’s record of 5,221 consecutive free throws. 

Are you kidding me? 

How on earth can someone make, let’s say, 200 in a row? Even the best NBA players shoot about 90% if they are lucky and the record in the NBA is 97 by Micheal Williams when he was with the Timberwolves.

 Now let’s review that number again.  5,221. It just blows my mind.